Dear Future Wife,

Let me begin by writing the various things that have been tumbling around inside of me to communicate to the prospective wife for years.

At 51 years old I have known that there will come a time in the call of God for me to have a very public ministry. I have never sought the spotlight and have avoided it in my heart. There are many complications and pressures that come with such a lifestyle. But I am convinced that it is the will of God for me. ALL the notes point in this direction.

One of the complications is that many and various women will get into their head and heart that God has directed them to marry me. That will happen before and after my possible wedding date. There is a severe shortage of men committed to serving God. Plus nearly no one is as open as me. Romantic feelings are not logical. Stories tell of how women fall in love with preachers and singers. This blog will be used by God to enroll intercessory support and many will abandon the pursuit without my ever knowing.

From the beginning you need to recognize that this is not like any marriage you have known unless you grew up in Hollywood or Washington DC.

I have avoided the spotlight because I do not want women to come on to me sexually or romantically. That is a huge complication and bother that a person who lives in the shadows of the library never needs to consider. For many years I was fearful that I would be seduced. The book of Proverbs tells of women who are scheming. I have come to trust that as God has been with me in all these many trials and temptations He will not forsake me then. And that points back to the importance of having a wife that is a full partner in the emerging ministry as well as enrolling much intercession all along the way.

The morals of the society in general and the church have been on a downward slide for a long while. We need to watch our back. You must guard against jealously. There will be legitimate times I need to relate closely with married and single women. We need to seek a solidness and security in our marriage bonds.

So I say from the start that you need to know that this comes with the territory. I will have male accountability partners for this issue as well as the vulnerability related to pornography.

These kinds of factors are true for any pastor, evangelist, missionary or business leader. But we need to notice from the start that God intends to use us to teach, lead and mentor the next generation of such leaders.

I am aware that during the coming months and years many single men and women will follow in my footsteps. They will crate a blog like this. They can get one for free from Blogger http://www.blogger.com/

Writing and sharing this has been very therapeutic for me. It has helped me to articulate ideas and feelings that have bouncing around in me for years. It has invited many people into my heart. This will clear the decks for the next generation of inspirations.

It is slightly frightening to step into the leadership vacuum in the Body of Christ. There are so few leaders that others are willing to follow or imitate. To be used by God in such a way is humbling.

Your brother in Christ,
John S. Oliver

P. S. The bottom line is that what I am seeking in a wife is like a full business partner. As the biblical head I will have the 51% share.

By the grace of God and for His glory we will join in many ways and many levels to pioneer an amazing ministry.

From the start I will be grooming you to be my successor. And we will be planning for your successor. (The rapture could interrupt those plans.) But I refuse appear before God without having carefully covered those important bases of succession.

So to marry me is to merge with the call of God on my life. The fruits of our ministry come from the roots of our unified callings.

If those prospects do not delight and excite you; then do not apply for the job.

If that floats your boat; then start now by doing your best to communicate the truth in love every day in every way.


Such succession is obviously subject to the approval of the board of directors.

You and I will be formulating the short and long range future of the emerging ministry. This will occur in our thoughts, conversations, plans, budgets, commitments, etc.

I could die any day due to an auto injury. I have already had 3 near-death experiences. In most cases it would be wise for the Board of Directors to appoint you as the head of the ministry.

However my death may come after I am 80 years old. (Both of my grandfathers and father made it past 80 so I subconsciously plan to pass that mile stone.) You may not have the desire to lead the ministry at that point. That will be your choice in fellowship with the Board of Directors.

These matters are mentioned in this letter to let you and others know the nature of the expectations that I already have for my possible future wife.


P. P. S. You can learn much more about me here http://fourbridges.org/Founder_JSO.html